my situationship just ghosted me. mind you, this man was acting like he was obsessed with me this past month. and now, just disappeared. i wouldn’t have been so disappointed, but i really felt this one might be different. see, 3 years ago, i was the biggest lovergirl to exist. but i got my heartbroken and turned into a cruel cold-hearted bitch who vowed to never show affection to men again. typical story, right? i had been in many situationships since then, none of which i ever took seriously. here’s where this guy was different. he actually cared. he listened. he made an effort. (bare minimum but okay) all the things you’d want in a guy, he was giving out. i mean come on, even my friends loved him. so naturally, i thought “maybe i should give this a chance” so i reciprocated. and i could feel the lovergirl in me resurrect. YET STILL, i got ghosted???
the concept of a situationship that our generation has come up with is genuinely so funny. like yes, let’s do all the things people in regular relationships would do but also never actually say that we’re committed to each other because what if someone better comes along and i wanna try with them next? i feel the rise of dating apps, and social media in general has given people way too many options. so we always feel like there must be something better out there. this, in turn, has ruined romance.
you know the slow burn? starting off by holding hands, maybe a hug. getting you flowers or writing love letters. then the guy asks to kiss you. spending all your time together. finally come the love confessions. letting them meet your friends, maybe even family. getting promise rings. sharing wired earphones. texting all day and falling asleep on call. ultimately you fall in love and in an attempt to connect your souls, you share your bodies. where did all that go?
now, two people will do all of this, just to go do it all again with someone else. and again. and again. try everything with everyone. if you become so numb to all these intimate feelings, how will you know when you genuinely love someone? you’ll just keep hurting people or keep getting hurt. who will be “the one” for you?
i’m not trying to hate on dating apps okay don’t get me wrong. the concept is great, genius even. but maybe some things are better in theory.
i’m always so in awe of people who have the ability to date casually. the ability to have sex and never get attached. it deserves applause honestly. maybe i’m the issue. i’ve never been treated right by a guy, so i fall head over heels for the bare minimum. maybe they’re simply stronger than me
or maybe i’m just jealous that it’s so easy for everyone around me to get into relationships and i’m out here getting ghosted. what am i doing wrong? and i’ve heard the cliche bullshit a hundred times, “It’ll happen when you least expect it!” or “Just focus on yourself, dont try so hard!” I KNOW OKAY. But it’s been so long and happened so many times that it’s become a pattern. so either i’m definitely doing something wrong or i’m just not meant for relationships.
i dont know anymore.